Just a jittery update.

So here I am, a jittery goddamn mess, so I thought Id try to keep my mind busy by writing another blog post.

So I had to go to the cancer clinic today because I was having some really nasty side effects. Apparently, the anti-nauseant I was taking (stemetil) has a whole host of nasty side effect, including extra-pyramidal symptons. What that means kiddies, is that I had just about the worst side effects possible....I'm talking jittterness, shortness of breath, and trouble sleeping. Having these symptoms is the worst thing ever...imagine restless legs syndrome, times it by a hundred, and make it all over your body. Last night, I'm not ashamed to admit, for the first time I prayed for death. I wanted to be dead instead of spend 8 hours climbing out of my skin, trying to be comfortable but failing miserably.

Thats right.....a car can hit me, I can get kidney stones, and I can take the sickness that is chemo and still have hope. But the jitters did me in in a bad way.

Luckily, I was smart enough to call the doctors (I started callling about two hours before the cliinic even opened). So they figured it was probably the stemetil, took me off it, and gave me an iv injection of benadryl to counteract the other drug. I also got a precription for valium, which is supposed to completely take the jitters away while I get rid of the other drug from my body. Well, it doesnt work as well as it should, but Im happy for any relief. Seriously, its not every day you wish for death to get through some lame ass drug side effect.

There is nothing deeper or meaningful about my post today. Im basically just writing this to help me overcome the symptoms

One additional thing....because I'm done my first four rounds of chemo, I keep getting questions of what's next.

Well, next wednesday (the 30th), they will be putting me on a permanent low dose of one of my two drugs (the less nasty one) and then I will start getting radiation every day except weekends. After 5 or 6 weeks of that, then its surgery. Then after my recovery from surgery, I get another 4 chemos similar to the ones I get now.

So thats the agenda.